The past two years have proved me wrong in many ways. I thought I had learnt from my past mistakes only to fall for them all over again.
Since October I have tried to come to terms with each of these and came to the conclusion that I have to rethink my lifestyle once and for all.
Firstly, I didn’t put enough emphasis on my daily routine – I let it be simply the way I am, chaotic, impulsive and hectic. As a result, I have pushed myself to my limits whenever I hit the gym 7 days in a row only to sum it up with a break of two weeks. Sometimes I had minor injuries as my lower back is not in the best shape to make matters worse. Eventually, I became aware of the dangers of this hectic attitude towards sports and my health as well. Being impulsive can be harmful to say the least.
From now on I include swimming in my training routine, and I go to the gym at least three times a week.
Secondly, I give up my obsession with documenting all the little details of my life. For exactly two years I followed my diet in an Excel table – arranged in monthly overviews, but it turned out to be a time-consuming hobby with little effect on my overall health.
In the year of 2018, I was quite committed to my goals, so I dropped 22 pounds in a year’s time, with occasional difficulties of course. 2019 had been the exact opposite of my previous weight loss as I successfully gained back all those 22 pounds by the end of the year.
I also documented this journey, so I got an insight on all the mistakes I made throughout the year. It was more than interesting to see that sometimes one cheat meal cost two weeks of hard work and progress but on other days it meant no difference in my weight at all.
In the long run however the many cheat days had their inevitable outcome: no matter how many times I hit the gym, I couldn’t avoid gaining back what I once lost with great pain and determination.
I am absolutely sure that even though I failed in some ways, I also learnt a lot from these throwbacks and rough times.
Previously I would have stopped writing my food diary when I went off the track as I didn’t want to face the truth.
For the first time last year, I kept tracking my eating habits even if it felt pointless sometimes. Through analyzing this vast amount of data, I can determine the crucial points in my diet – where I usually lose control. For me it is definitely the evenings and the temptation for binge eating.
Instead of a lengthy food diary I opt for sharing my thoughts about this journey in the upcoming year of 2020. It might not be always glamorous and uplifting but a real and true story with painfully honest description of an adventure I hope not only will shape my body but my mind as well.